newegg.com - worst web-purchase experience EVER.

Fuck you, newegg.com. Fuck you to hell.

Story:

A week ago, I went to El Paisano's to get a gastrointestinal-destroying burrito for less than $5. Per usual, I had no cash and gave them my card. They gave it back with no receipt and told me it was denied.

Awesome! I love it when that happens and I know I have over $600!

Or so I thought...

Here's what happened. I placed an order on newegg.com for approx $300, minutes before the destruction of my gastrointestinal tract (other roomie lent me cash, saved me some embarassment - tastebuds more than happy). It wouldn't have been the first time I had less money than I thought, but my bank confirmed otherwise. Probably for the first time ever.

newegg.com had declined my card because I was having my purchase shipped to my roommate, Hank (because it was a purchase that would count towards my purchase of his old computer). They wouldn't tell me this was, or could be, the case, and specifically told me it was not possible - at this stage of the purchase.

But by that stage, I already had to have my friend's shipping address 'verified' by their shitty system that thinks LaSalle Street is a drive. I had already been kicked off newegg.com, mid-purchase, to be thrown to my bank's website to verify who I am, before I was thrown back to newegg.com to be told my order was processed successfully. Oh, and my card was denied at fucking EL PAISANO'S. How that could happen is beyond me, but newegg is to blame (my bank confirmed zero holds on my card, so someone give me a better explanation knowing this has never happened before).

Days later, I go to newegg.com's FAQ page to learn that any/all shipping addresses must be sent to my bank first before it would process any order. GOOD TO KNOW.

I said fuck it, gave Hank $280 cash, cause I'm a baller, and told him to take care of it. Guess what? He was declined, too. Re-registered his billing/shipping addresses with his bank, and was told by newegg.com that it would take 1-2 business days to process.

So today, good ol' Hank goes back to our new best friend's website, newegg.com, and his fucking harddrive had SOLD OUT.

I think they're bluffing. It was already proven - it's categorically impossible to successfully complete any purchase with newegg.com, unless your patience rivals that of one Mahatma Gandhi.

Luckily, I run the most important, popular blog ever and expect to see newegg.com completely out of business within 24 hours.